We need your help

poster-waiting-for-you-800x628Hello everyone out there searching the inter-webs of the cyber world! I am looking for some help, ideas and advice. After our last training meeting two weeks ago for our adoption journey, we learned that we need to find a way to ‘market’ ourselves to possible birth families out there. We were told that the agency will do 50% marketing and we should do the other 50% marketing.

So, I am wondering if you’ve gone through the adoption process in the past or if you know someone who has that would be willing to give advice I am all ears! We have a website (through our agency – the also have 2 profile books we printed and delivered for profile viewings), I try and keep this blog going and we have told anyone and everyone who we talk to about our adoption adventure. We have also reached out to our church and they know we are an official waiting family, we also let our adoption support group at church know as well.

Some of the suggestions from our training:

  • Add a little business card to our holiday cards for friends and family to pass along to those at their church, or if they know of a potential birth family
  • Make flyers and hang up around town (coffee shops, churches, clinics, work…) this one makes me a little more nervous
  • Create an email for all potential birth families vs using our personal email addresses
  • Create multiple profiles for different adoption sites so we are now more visible (there is a cost involved with this option, more than the other options)

One of the families that the agency has worked with created a Craigs List ‘ad’ and actually ended up finding their birth family that way! They did say that they needed to do a LOT of screening and that their social worker talked with multiple people to figure out if they were real interests and not scams. Also right now agencies are noticing that there aren’t a lot of birth families creating adoption plans, this makes me a little nervous as well, I know our child is out there just really unsure of when we will meet them.

With all that said, we need your help! Please feel free to share our story, website, or contact information with anyone and everyone you know ๐Ÿ™‚

Website: Ryan and Marianne

Email: ryanandmarianneadopting@gmail.com

Until next time!!

 

 

Holy Cow — We’re OFFICIALLY on the waiting family list!!!

adoption_roadmap_04_find_birthmothers-791x1024Yup that’s right! We are officially a waiting family!!!! I can’t believe it and we are SOOO excited! I know, I know, I know…it can take YEARS to be picked by a birth family BUT this means that we CAN be picked and all the stress of filling out piles of paperwork and getting our finger prints and health physicals and interviews with social workers and everything else has been signed off on and we are OFFICIALLY APPROVED!

So now what…well we wait and continue to pray for our birth family and baby (or babies) to find us. We continue on house projects, adding to the nursery, finishing the basement, fencing in the backyard – there is always going to be an endless ‘to do list’ and I feel more comfortable waiting for our baby now. It was always a “hurry up and wait” feeling but I’m ok with it and I have a peace about it. We know that God always has our little one (ones) picked out for us and he is working in our hearts as well as the birth families heart – we will connect and click and it’s going to be an amazingly awesome adventure.

Speaking of the nursery and house projects…HUGE thank you to my older brother Nick for his help with creating my accent wall ๐Ÿ™‚ I absolutely love the way it turned out! Dark walls with white furniture and a whitewashed wood plank wall, and as a fan of Harry Potter – a quote from Albus Dumbledore to add to the room. Right now it is being used at Hunter’s toy room while we finish the basement (it’s been a REALLY slow process waiting for people to come in and do their part). Hunter doesn’t call it his toy room he calls it the baby’s room. “Hold on mom, I need to go to the baby’s room” or “can I go play in the baby’s room” — I love it, he’s ready for a sibling – and if you ask him if he’d like to have a brother or sister, he’ll say sister.

Ryan and I are already going through names and talking about what their personality will be like. How Hunter will react and how awesome it’s going to be. The journey of infertility is not an easy road and for a lot of people it can really break up a marriage or it can bring you closer. I’ve said it before, for Ryan and I, it has only brought us closer. Now going through adoption and having social workers in our home and really deep diving into our financials, pasts and family dynamics it can be stressful and take it’s toll as well. But again, it’s only brought us closer together and both of us feel like this is where we are supposed do be and this is how our family is created. Not how we ever thought our family would be formed but it’s exciting and it’s been an adventure to get here and it will only continue to get better.

Pics of the nursery progress ๐Ÿ™‚

If you are just starting out on the adoption adventure of if you have been waiting for a while, I really recommend reading Tandem: A Devotional for Adopting with God at the Lead. It is an amazing devotional and the way that Alison writes, I think she I could be great friends. PLUS she has a Facebook support group you can join and the families on there are truly, truly amazing. The stories that are shared and the different situations others have been in, it’s just really nice to know that you aren’t alone in this and that there are others in the same spot that you can lean on.

So if anyone has any other great options for devotionals to get through a waiting period in your life, I’m welcome to ALL suggestions! Or, if you have any tips on helping to not dwell on waiting let me know! I’ve started a Mary Kay business to help with financials as well as keep myself busy, plus I love meeting new people and sharing our story. There are so many out there who are on the same journey.

Until next time!

Adoption Profile Book & a Little Family Adventure

ProfileHave you ever put one of these together? It’s stressful! How much information do you need, what if you have too much information, what if you don’t have enough, what if the birth families don’t like the pictures that I put in there, what if they think my family is a little too crazy (because lets face it, we are a little), what if they think I have too many pictures of Hunter and not enough or our house or where their baby would be sleeping….the stress and list and worry just goes on and on and on. Last night I went to bed at 1:45 trying to get picture placements just right and put our story in the book but still leave room for more pictures than words. Seems like birth families want to see more pictures than read a story, and I get that too I just want to make sure our story come across through the picture.

I’ve read a lot of blogs on what people look for and it’s ALL OVER THE PLACE!! One birth mom connected with a family because they both liked the same candy, one connected because of the big yard and play set that their child could grow up playing on and one because they looked like a really nice couple and had a big family. So from that, do I put our favorite foods, our favorite snacks or favorite travel spots? What if they think traveling is dangerous (we travel a fair amount), what if they think pizza and tacos aren’t what they want their child eating? Do I sound a little crazy?!? Yes, I think I do.

Any way, I’m happy with how the book is turning out. I still feel like there is a lot more that needs to be in it to try and give a full picture of our family but again, not sure how much is too much. It’s been fun to look through past pictures of friends and family and see how far we’ve come on the family building adventure.

Some page examples….still in the works with the wording but it’s a start ๐Ÿ™‚

Now, if you haven’t had the chance or taken the chance to visit the Pacific Northwest YOU NEED TO! We just got back from a MUCH needed family vacation where we started in Medford, Oregon and drove up the coast to Astoria, Oregon to say our final goodbye to my Grandpa Mike. We were able to take our time and not stick to any one agenda, we saw what we wanted to and forgot about the house issues, work stress and adoption for 10 days. It was magical – take the time to go on a trip. Take the time to spend with family and friends. Take the time to unplug and let things go.

A few pictures of our trip – again you gotta see this place!

Well, it’s time to get back to working on our book! If all goes well and or social worker is able to have our report done by the end of this month and I can get our book done by the end of this month……we might be able to be on the waiting family list by August!! AHHHH how amazing would that be?!?!

Life is ALWAYS an adventure…

So as our site says Paddock Family Adventures, we are currently on one of those adventures. Yesterday we headed out from Minnesota and arrived in Oregon for a MUCH needed family vacation. With the stress of all the house issues and the stress of the adoption process we were looking forward to getting a way for a while.

Trip started out normal, left with enough time to check our giant bag as well as the bag that had our car seat and the toddler hiking pack in it. I refused to bring a stroller because I have ‘stroller rage’ with slow people ๐Ÿ™‚ First flight was uneventful and long, second flight we had about an hour connection and that flight was only about 45 minutes. Finlly, arrived in Medford (little airport, but very nice).

Here’s where things go a little south, got off the plane made our way to the baggage claim. Our giant bag arrived no issue, BUT the bag with our car seat and hiking pack didn’t make it. In my mind I could care less about the giant bag with our clothes in it, we kinda sorta need the car seat…

I went over to the office for missing luggage, feeling pissed that our things are missing. When I got into the office there was another lady chatting with the guy at the desk. She was on the same flight as us [Sun Country –> Portland –> Alaska Air –>Medford]. Apparently there was an issue in Minneapolis, Sun Country with getting bags on the flights — Awesome! All I can think is that, we still haveย  2.5 hour drive to our hotel for the night in Crescent City – we NEEDED a car seat.

My turn to talk to the guy at the counter. First I want to say that his name is Chase, red hair and glasses and is completely AMAZING!!!!!! We will be letting Alaska Airlines know how amazingly awesome he is. Anyways, I told him that our car seat didn’t make it and what do we do now? I’ve never had my luggage not arrive at our final destination so this was all new to me. He called Sun Country and the Portland airport to see if they could locate the bag. No luck, no one knew where it was because it wasn’t at any of the airports and it wasn’t on any of the planes.

Chase set us up with a car seat – brand new – and took all of our information. He also went to the Alaska counter and picked us food vouchers for the restaurant in the airport so we could go grab some dinner while he continued to work on finding our bag. Again, he is awesome. Still no luck with the bag but he let us know that anything we go and purchase we can be reimbursed for the expenses. We needed to get a hiking pack for this trip, lucky for us there was an REI about a mile from the airport. We went over to the Enterprise rental counter to pick up the car, I was talking to the lady there and she asked how we were doing – I gave her a little over view of the day and she said “let me see what I can do”, she upgraded our rental to a nicer/larger car with all sorts of bells and whistles!

Made our way to REI found a hiking pack and headed back to the airport to see Chase again. We arrived from Portland at 2:30 pm it is now 7:30 pm and we still haven’t left for the hotel. Met up with Chase, filled out some paperwork for the reimbursement check, got back in the car and started our adventure to the coast!

We go to the hotel around 10:30 pm – which for us is 12:30 pm. I went to go check in, it’s a little hotel with two levels, doors outside. I asked the lady at the desk if we were on the main level because Ryan’s back is not doing great and was using his cane more and more throughout the day. She said that we were set up on the second floor but she gave us a complementary upgrade to a first floor suite. One king size bed for three ๐Ÿ™‚

Today we head to the redwoods with our new hiking pack, fully rested and ready for the next adventure!

To be continued….

~ Saying Hello & Goodbye ~

Today is a HUGE mix of emotions – both happy and sad, excited and heartbroken. I know sounds a little confusing but let me explain…

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Happy & Excited: Today we meet with our adoption coordinator for our first Home Study interview! The house is somewhat in order as much as possible ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve started redoing the nursery and putting things away to be somewhat organized and starting to do a little more painting and finishing up other projects. The basement is still in the works and we have met with contractors on the bathroom and also plumbers on what we need to move. We are making slow progress but it’s still progress.

 

 

Sad & Heartbroken: Last night I packed up all my IVF needles and got rid of them. The trash came this morning and they are gone forever. It’s hard to still wrap my head around being done with that adventure. I cried a little, not as much as I thought I would but I’m still not done processing it. Now when I look in the closet I see an open space where they used to be, that was a little hard this morning.

BUT Big Changes are headed this way! Last night my devotional was about the Home Study and writing a Profile — new challenges. How do I ‘sell’ our family to a prospective birth family? How do I show them the love that we have to give their child in a book or an online profile? Hoping to get a few answers today while meeting with Stephanie. Looking forward to the next steps and moving along!

Wish us luck and to calm our hearts today!

Best thing to do is smile through it all…

Sometimes life just sucks but you have to keep smiling! We’ve all been there, you take two steps forward and then get sucker punched and end up fifteen steps back. Right now that is exactly how we feel with all of these house issues while also trying to navigate the adoption process. We get one thing figured out and in the process with the house end up finding that five other things now need to be fixed and updated to meet code regulations.ย But since we feel that we are nice people we are going to make sure that everything is done right, safe without future issues for us or anyone else who lives in this house.

So, what’s been going on since the last time I was on here?

House: mold has all been taken care of (thanks to 24 Restore), fully mitigated and we are able to move about the house ๐Ÿ™‚ Whoohoo! Also had an additional air quality test done and we passed with flying colors – we had air scrubbers in the house for almost three weeks, worth it knowing that we don’t have mold floating around the house anymore. We also just had a drain tile system installed this week and had the ‘Cadillac’ of sump pumps installed, want to make sure that this doesn’t happen again. We are very happy with the company that we used and HIGHLY recommend them (Innovative Basement Systems).ย Drain Tile Progress

Sump Pump

Bathroom: the bathroom has been ‘fun’ to work through. The tub that was down was cast iron…If you’re not familiar what that it is….it pretty much just means it’s freak’n heavy!!! My dad came over to help me get it moved out into the dumpster. Now I’m not a tall person at all (5’0″) so trying to get this thing out and up the stairs to the front of the house was NO easy task. But with a little help and creative thinking (plus Ryan came home from work while we were doing this) we were all able to get it out! No more ugly black bath tub, black toilet and lovely black vanity and matching sink….I’m all for the color black, but even for me this was a little much in such a small space. Took up all the tile and ripped down walls. Goodbye bathroom…

Bathroom

Adoption: We’ve attended two webinars – these are part of the required hours that we need to have during the second phase of the process. I think that we need to have 30 hours of parenting classes. Seems a little silly to be taking all of these classes, but I’ve gained little nuggets from each one. This is what we’ve done so far:

  1. Trust Based Parenting – Behavior Matching
  2. Trust Based Parenting – Depression After Adoption

We have five other prerecorded classes that we need to take for credit as well as one more all day class specific to Domestic Infant Adoption. I’ve also continued with my devotional: Tandem a devotional for Adopting with God in the Leadย this is a great devotional I really feel that Alison (author) and I could be great friends. I love the way that she wraps in scripture with her story, it has really helped me feel more relaxed and able to just ‘go with the flow’. Truly an amazing book.

Books

Also picked up The Connected Childย – I haven’t started this book yet, but it was recommended by the class leaders as well as a couple from church who have adopted all of their children (domestic and international). I’m excited to read this one and learn a little more about the process and some things to expect.

All of us have had our physicals needed for the adoption, as well as filling out the remaining documents – I will be turning these in on Monday — excited to check one more step off the list!

Life: Life, life, life….well it’s always busy! I had a perfect Mother’s Day last weekend. Started of with ‘sleeping in’ — meaning I was able to lay in bed longer without being jumped on by a two year old monster ๐Ÿ™‚ made breakfast, then went off to the Children’s Museum. We’ve never been there so this was a first for all of us. Hunter LOVED the little Mail Room that they have as well as the Fire Station. He was thrilled to play in the water table (good thing for extra clothes) and with some ping pong balls and air compressors. All in all it was a great day. Got some pretty sweet gifts too.

Hunter Worms

I absolutely love being a mom – Hunter keeps me on my toes but I wouldn’t have it any other way.ย  Finished painting his room and adding some decorations, as well as started the upstairs bathroom – bright yellow and dinosaurs. Still working on that room — when I’m stressed I need to work on projects, I don’t like to sit still. I’ve pretty much finished the kitchen and living room. I was going to work on the nursery but that has a lot of stuff from the basement since we had to move everything up stairs. So the bathroom it is ๐Ÿ™‚ Tomorrow I need to pick up small nails for some of the art work I’m adding.

What’s next on the to-do list?

Duct Work: waiting for an appointment with Innovative Basements (different division) to fill the duct lines that are UNDER the basement flooring — NO idea what they were thinking in the 70’s — they will fill them so they won’t fill with water any more and cause any other issues. Install new duct work via the ceiling (as it should be) in the basement family room, bedroom and bathroom.

Basement Bathroom: working with a contractor on getting things going in the bathroom — you have no idea how important it is having two toilets in the house until you’re back down to one! We are starting to move forward with this area, had the contractor out as well as a plumber out today. Waiting to hear back on costs.

Basement Bedroom: finish taking out the old carpet tack strips, rebuild a few walls

Basement Family Room: Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild….

Adoption: turn in our phase two paperwork and set up our interview times with our adoption specialist! Very excited about this — means we are getting one step closer ๐Ÿ™‚

One thing at a time….when I feel like breaking down and giving up I’m reminded that I’m not alone in this adventure. All I need to do is look up, thank God that we are alive, healthy and able to enjoy the life that we have. It is hard to do this some days but whatever trials we are going through right now are for a reason — we don’t know what that is yet but in time we will. My mom made a pretty amazing observation the other day when I went to her work pissed off at the world and ready to cry (which I don’t do) because we found more issues with the basement once they started jack-hammering the concrete – she said that the baby God has planned for us isn’t here yet and that we need to get these things done before he will reveal who that baby is. I truly believe this – our hearts are ready but our house isn’t, but soon enough it will be done and we continue to pray that once it is we will be able to meet our newest little person.

 

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Oh boy…Life is an Adventure!

I am not sure how many of you follow me on Instagram – but I recently put a little update on what’s been going on at our house. Here’s a little recap….

On Saturday April 7, the plan was to take off the baseboard in our basement to pull up the carpet and put in a vinyl flooring [we have a toddler and dogs, carpet doesn’t make sense]. I started to remove the baseboard behind the bar – this way if anything went wrong it would be easier to either fix or hide – well….the very first piece I took off had mold spots on the back of it. So I decided to take off the ‘beautiful’ paneling to see if there was any mold on the back or if it was just on the baseboard since it was behind the bar area and could have gotten wet. Well….not only was there mold all the way up the wall where the paneling was behind the bar BUT it was on EVERY SINGLE WALL IN THE BASEMENT – including the inside walls!!

Mold 1

We just moved in on January 18 – we had an inspection and the inspector covered his butt by stating that it was a visual inspection and if we wanted further testing that we would need to expand the scope with them or hire someone else to come out. Yeah…so there’s that.

So as we are discovering this mess and figuring out who to reach out to so we can get it all taken care of, I receive an email from our adoption coordinator – we have been moved to the next step in the process — Home Study! This is VERY exciting news, they have reviewed all of our other paperwork and it was approved – we were assigned our social worker/adoption specialist to help navigate the next phase.

It broke my heart to let her know that we aren’t in any way set up for a home visit just yet. She has be amazing through all of this and will send an email checking in to see where we are at in the basement project process. It just feels like when you want something so bad you need to be tested to make sure that it is really the path you should be going down.

Since we can’t be in the basement until all the mold is mitigated we are back to one level living (which is why we moved to this house….to get away from the rambler style home). We are all back up stairs and it was fine for a while until the air scrubbers were brought in…they aren’t small…

We had an air quality test done to make sure we were still able to be in the house with the amount of mold they found in the basement and the basement bedroom, turns out that we have FIVE different types of mold festering in the basement. So we have these air scrubber things in the basement and in the living room. Unfortunate thing is that they need to be in the middle of the space, so there isn’t any running around upstairs. Needless to say Hunter is getting a little restless with not being able to act like a full on crazy toddler and the dogs are wanting/needing more space as well.

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The company we have been working with (24 Restore) has been amazing! We found everything on Saturday/Sunday and by Monday I already had our insurance guy out as well as 24 Restore. Everyone has been great but hats off to these guys. They had everything pretty much gutted by Thursday. They have been here every day since working on cleaning and making sure it won’t come back again and this week we will have another air quality test done to make sure we can go back into the basement. Once we have the all clear from them we will be moving on to the next phase….ripping out the basement bathroom to make room for drain tile to be in stalled so this NEVER happens again.

Oh and another really fun exciting event….our water heater died last Sunday night. I was starting to fill the tub to give Hunter and bath and ZERO hot water. Sure enough the one room in the basement that didn’t have any damage from the mold now has a leaking water heater (insert eye roll and head shake). Finally got that thing replaced on Wednesday after a HUGE argument with the Home Warranty company – tell ya all about it if you want to know more….Ugh, bottom line – I do NOT recommend HMS Home Warranty company.ย 

Anyways…once we get the all clear I’ll be reaching out to our adoption specialist to set up the home visits and interviews – there are three – 1:1 with Ryan 1:1 with myself and a meeting with both of us. Tonight I started filling more of the paperwork out and I am still amazed at how much paperwork goes into this whole process. Oh, we ALL [my two year old included] need to have physicals done for the adoption — why you may ask…I’m still not 100% sure why my two year old needs to have a physical done, I can understand myself and Ryan but not him. But never the less, tomorrow he will be going to see his pediatrician for his exam (lucky me, I had mine last week). I am also working on a few different questionnaires that need to be filled out and signing up for some of the webinar classes. We need 30 hours each of training during this phase — I’m thankful for the recorded class options as well as the webinars to be able to complete the required hours.

I am looking forward to working on completing the Home Study process, new projects and seeing what is next!

Until next time!

Children Book Question….

Hey everyone!

I am reaching out and asking what adoption books have you purchased and like for reading to your kids? We have Hunter who is two and he’s biological and now starting the adoption process we want to read him books about becoming a big brother and what that means through adoption.

Just picked up Rosie’s Family – An adoption story. Really cute book that talks about how different families are formed, how they may look different but they like the same things, how to talk to them about people bringing up their ‘real’ parents (meaning birth parents), how to keep the conversation open about birth parents “Dad says that my birth parents have a special place in my life because I was born to them. He thinks they were very brave to let me have a new family even though it probably made them sad.”

New Book

Also, quick update on where we are at – turned in our fingerprints and on Monday I’ll get assigned a social worker to start on the Home Study process. I have all the paperwork printed out and ready to go!

So, if you have any children’s book recommendations or any tips for the Home Study process please leave a comment! Excited to be moving forward!

One more thing, I want to say THANK YOU toย The EcoFeministย for the Mixbook recommendation – SOOOOOOO much easier to use than Shutterfly!

 

Ever have one of those days…

Howdy everyone! Have you ever had one of those days / weeks where things just go a little hinky? Well this is how last week into today has been.

Great news is that our paperwork was accepted by the adoption agency [WHOOHOOOOOOO] – I just had to bring in our fingerprints and I was going to do that on Thursday…left work and got to the agency a few minutes too late – they were closed.ย Ok, that happens – no big deal. So I went back on Friday morning on my way into work…yeah they were closed again (Good Friday – Christian organization…) oops – my fault for not asking what their hours were. I did reach out later on to see when our coordinator will be in on Monday – 7:00am – once again I’ll try and drop off our fingerprints before work.

Next adventure: So on Saturday I was scheduled to get a new tattoo, I’ve had the appointment since the beginning of March – confirmed with the shop that they received the image and we were set to go….I go in at my scheduled time and it turns out that the shop fired the artist I was scheduled with the week before and they forgot to call his appointments to let them know…well ok then. Irritated I left, picked up Hunter and we headed home. He went down for a nap and I got to painting the kitchen ๐Ÿ™‚

Successful Saturday in the paint and decorating aspect of the day! I’m in LOVE with the new color in the kitchen!! I love it so much I decided to also remove the wall paper in the entry closet and paint that as well. Like I said successful Saturday. Now just figuring out what pictures, sayings, mirror…..you know a little decorating.

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So that brings us to today! Easter Sunday! It’s a beautiful sunny day, a little chilly but really beautiful. We started off the morning with some snuggles, Hunter helped me make some chip dip to bring to Aunties house for Easter lunch. He also helped me make breakfast for everyone – eggs – he also learned how to see if eggs are still good, a little science in the morning never hurts ๐Ÿ™‚

Headed off to church, had the perfect Easter service, the sermon was on point, the music was amazing and the atmosphere was buzzing with the Lord’s presence. Then headed home to let the dogs our before heading to lunch….well….once we were home Ryan went to shut the garage door and there was a HUGE crash. Yup, turns out that the spring on the opener broke. Oy (insert eye roll). This house has been one thing after another and I really REALLY hate reaching out the the home warranty company to get things fixed – it’s been a fight for the last two months to get our ice maker fixed…

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Anywho…claim has been sent, now waiting to see when someone can come out and fix the door. Always an adventure at the Paddock house – I wouldn’t really have it any other way though. So what’s on the list:

  • Garage Door
  • Ripping out basement carpet
  • Installing new flooring in the basement – NOT carpet, some sort of vinyl flooring that will stand up to dog nails and toddlers
  • Finishing painting Hunters room (should be working on this right now…)
  • Start | Finish nursery
  • Hanging pictures and artwork through out the house – my walls are too blank

That’s that! A few things going on – but tomorrow I WILL get those fingerprints dropped off and talk to our coordinator to figure out what our next steps are.

Until next time! Have a great week!!!

 

Paperwork Deadline…..TOMORROW

Well hello everyone! I know that I said I was going to give an update after the all day adoption class a few weeks ago….sorry about that — life happens and we got busy.

So here is a recap of that day, it was truly educational and some parts were really interesting and others we feel that we could have done without. The meeting was for anyone using the agency: Domestic Infant, International, Foster to Adopt or Foster — we had a really nice mix of everything with this group. It was really neat to hear what everyone was doing and to connect with others who are on the same path as we are, it was reassuring that we aren’t alone in the process and the speaker mentioned a few times about creating our ‘tribe’ and that the people in the room are the beginning steps to creating that tribe.

Our first speaker talked about Trauma, Brain Development and Attachment. The last one ‘Attachment’ was the MOST interesting topic of the day. I didn’t realize how important it is in the first month of adopting a baby to really set the attachment. I never thought that there could be issues with the baby attaching to Ryan and I when we bring them home. I’ve given birth – Hunter knew our voices from day one in the womb, he knew who I was when he was evicted (c-section). But to think that this new baby won’t know who I am, won’t know our voices, won’t know the sounds of our daily lives is a lot scarier than I thought any of it would be. Our speaker STRESSED the importance of the attachment period and told us for the first month to limit passing the baby around to family and friends. The first month it should only be Ryan and I holding and taking care of them so that we are able to form that attachment together.

THIS IS HUGE – something that I do not want to get wrong, kinda stresses me out a bit. Like I said, this was the most interesting topic of the day for me and I want to do more research on the topic. There have been suggestions out there if you have a good relationship with the birth mom while she is pregnant, to record your voice talking, singing or laughing and have her play it for the baby, it may help with attachment in the early stages of the relationship.

Since this class was for everyone using the agency she didn’t spend a lot of time talking about the attachment with infants more so for fostering families and international adoption. We will have another class solely dedicated to the Domestic Infant process and what to expect — I am really looking forward to that class.


Continuing on with our day we also talked about Trans-Cultural Parenting, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and Mental Health. It was a day FULL of information and we also were able to bring homeย  all the the presentations as well as other articles and resources to read through at home.

On the way home there was a lot of discussion of the day, our thoughts and added fears. It was a really great day and I am ready to see what the Lord has in store for us down this path.


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So….where are we at now in the process??? Well tonight we had our tax appointment (I know, I know crazy exciting – right?!?), anyways we needed our return for the Formal Paperwork packet, which I will be turning in TOMORROW! Yup, tomorrow we will hand over our envelope that has:

  • MN Application
  • Background Study info & Fingerprints
  • Financial Statements
  • 3 years of tax returns
  • Statement of Faith
  • Individual Fact Sheets
  • and MUCH more

I’m nervous, stressed, excited and hopeful. I’m also not sure what happens next….do we move on to the Home Study portion or do I make our look book (if so I need to schedule family pictures – gotta look nice or and put the nursery together), are we able to look at waiting families or do we just sit tight for a bit….I have NO idea and it’s driving me a little crazy. I’m a planner and I need to know these things, but again this isn’t in our hands – It’s in Gods hands and he knows what the next steps are and where to go from there.


Side note: To be completely honest, I still struggle almost daily with knowing that we are not going to get pregnant. Every day I walk into my closet and see this: and yes – that’s two gallon size bags of IVF needles, I still can’t part with them. They are apart of our story and one Blog Post 2

day I’m going to be able to get rid of them but it’s not going to happen today. I still struggle when people tell me they are having a baby. Happened just yesterday I had someone I work with come up to me, pull me aside to let me know she is 11 weeks pregnant and wanted to let me know before I heard it from anyone else because she knows the struggles we’ve had – as much as I really do appreciate her telling me and taking my feelings into consideration it is still hard to hear. And then there are others who have struggled to have a family and unfortunately know the feeling of loss who are now having a new little one who I am truly excited and happy for. It’s all a bunch of crazy feelings all balled up that I deal with.

Poor Ryan has to deal with me and all my craziness – bless him ๐Ÿ™‚ I will say, that he is the best partner to be on this adventure with though. He supports my crazy and also calms my crazy. He helps keep me on the ground, he’s a pretty amazing person.

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Well that’s all for now….